My dad doesn't like to watch Supernanny because he thinks that because of the cameras the kids act differently (worse) than they normally would. Plus, I think it makes him crazy,what with the screaming kids and all (the same reason Kurt won't watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 with me). BUT, I love to watch both of these shows and other ones like them. There is even a supernanny of types for dogs on Animal Planet called "It's me or the dog". Pretty funny.I like watching supernanny because 1) it makes me feel better about my life 2) I am really interested in child psychology, classroom management and discipline. Whether it's after a hard day teaching or dealing with a certain newborn I know, watching Supernanny makes me feel better that I can either send 26 kids home to their parents or that I only have 1 of my own so far. I try not to be judgemental because I truly believe that every mom is doing their best and every kid is different and I'm not there yet so I don't know how hard it is. Now that I'm working at Target in the evening I get to people watch a little bit and I see lots of things that make me think, "Ooh, Supernanny wouldn't like this..." I guess she has become the voice in my head a little bit. Ok, so I am young and naive and maybe I know nothing about discipline but I pray that my family won't ever be needing the services of Jo Frost.
These are things that I have learned from my education, experiences and from Supernanny...
1) Kids have got to know that you mean what you say. Do not make empty threats! Once they figure out that you have forgotten about a consequence, they know for next time that they won't really be punished. Make consequences logical and appropriate to the situation. If you "threaten" to take away 5 minutes of computer time, you better follow through or they will start to walk all over you.
2) When kids get upset and hysterical about consequences or punishments, do not try to talk to them! If you are putting them in time out, put them there without saying anything. They know the consequence and they are irrational so there is no point in talking to them. Kids want to argue with you and get out of things, but if you stay calm and cool and stick with the predetermined consequence they will know that you mean business. During a training I went to for managing aggressive students successfully (MASS) they said that there are two things undermining discipline in the classroom; too much talking, and too much emotion on the teachers part.
If you have seen supernanny, you have seen parents putting their kids in a timeout spot or in their beds over and over and over (sometimes for hours). This may seem crazy and cruel but if you do it right and stick with what you said, staying calm and quiet and avoiding arguing they will eventually know that you mean business and that will be the last time you have to spend so long getting them in time out. I love to see kids finally break and sit quietly and apologize. Man, I love it! It's hard to see kids freak out for so long, but it really is for the best. If you are going to use time out it's recommended that the child sits in time out for as many minutes as they are years old.
3)When you are talking to kids about rules and consequences, get down on their level and look them in the eye. Talk in a calm voice and explain to them why they were put in time out. Give them a hug and tell them that you love them (if they are your own)after they are done. D&C 121:43, right?
4) Kids often act out because they are bored! Of course kids are going to start bugging their siblings for entertainments sake if there is nothing else to do. Teach kids how to go about choosing an activity and do things with them like art projects and easy games. You'll have fun too.
I'm sure not everyone loves JoJo or these tidbits I've shared, but I just wanted to put it out there because it's fascinating to me! I think I would like to be some sort of behavior specialist. I guess I better wait and see how things turn out with my own kids, huh? Now, if only I knew anything about babies...
4 comments:
I agree with you a thousand percent ... you are going to be an amazing mother.
My mom just sent me this "love and logic" cd that is soooo good. I have only listened to like the first 20 minutes but I am already being a better mom - by that I mean I just don't get mad when they do something ... I simply pick'em up and tell them how sad I am that they are going to timeout and how much I love them and can't wait to see them again in 3 ( or 1) minute. It has been GREAT for me and my blood pressure!!!!
Those are great rules. I totally agree. We've been trying to do those things with Atticus, well, the following through thing. He doesn't talk yet, but we are still trying to show consistency. I want it to be second nature to all of us. No means no! =)
Great post!
Preach it! I already learned the truth of rule #4. For a long time Hank would go crazy in the evenings and just get into destructive mode where he would just wreck everything for no reason. I was getting so irritated at having to pick up after his cyclone when I realized that he was just bored and that it was my fault for not giving him enough stimulation. Now I make sure to get on the floor and play puzzles with him and give him something to keep him busy--no more destruction!
I love your thoughts. I'm definitely going to take your advice. If you go to my blog, there's a link to Ask Miss Angie - she gives all sorts of parenting advice too. I think you'd enjoy reading it. I miss you!
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