Sunday, May 17, 2009

Thoughts on Motherhood

Funny faces
Felicity used to be puny (sp?)

I know this post is a week late, but I needed this time to really think about motherhood instead of cards, gifts, and yummy food. Don't get me wrong, Mother's Day was amazing. We got to spend time with both families and give and receive great words of appreciation. I had a great day. Kurt was more helpful than usual (which I thought was impossible-he always helps me a lot) and he didn't have extra meetings-yeah!
Yesterday I was getting my hair cut while pouring over US Weekly ( I know it's dumb-but that's what I love to do when I get my haircut-don't even try to talk to me girl-I love an hour of silence). But it wasn't silent, because the girl next to me was a talker, which was fine but I couldn't help overhearing their conversation. She recently had a baby and was telling her stylist about how she is from California and it's funny in Utah because you don't feel special when you are pregnant or having a baby-because literally EVERYBODY'S DOING IT. When you are in other states and people see your baby they are always going Lady Gaga over you and your bundle of joy. In Utah, nobody cares. When you walk into a store every other person you see either has kids with them or a baby bump, or both.

Even though I have had this same thought on more than one occasion and experienced it myself (taking a 5 month old to a Padres game-we have never had so much attention for being a cute little family) for some reason I sort of resented this girl saying it (probably because although I agreed with her, she was kind of annoying).

So-here's my rumination on that.

Just because everybody's doing it, it doesn't make it less special. Truly. I don't know that there a many things in life that this holds true for, but it's true about motherhood. Even if every friend of yours from high school, college or in your ward is having a baby, it doesn't make your experience any less special. And those that love you will feel the same way. It's amazing to me how sincerely excited I get when a friend, sister or acquaintance tells me they're pregnant. I get weepy. I CARE. Sincerely care-even if I don't know you that well. I want to talk with you about heartburn, otter pops, night sweats, pitting edema, colic, nursing shields and what books you have read. I want to tell you that having a newborn was probably the hardest 3 months of my life and it's ok if you feel like you're going crazy and then feel tremendous guilt about that. That's normal. I went off on a tangent here...

I guess what I am trying to say is that even though women have been doing it for hundreds and hundreds of years-it's still a miracle every time. Even though it's scientifically how our species procreates and survives-it's more than that. It will change you (obviously) and your life forever. No one can tell you how much of a sacrifice and a joy it will be. It is such a miracle that we are able to be parents on this earth. Whether it's by delivering a child ourselves, or by adoption or fostering or mentoring-it feels amazing to teach a child, to love a child.

I grew up in Provo and I now live in Orem and I have never felt like a lemming-or a boring Utah Mormon. Yes, my hair may have been bad in elementary school pictures (whose wasn't-it was the 80's), but I know that just because I may not be completely in style and maybe my hair is now a mom bob and maybe I am a country bumpkin to many -I like myself, and I like living here and I know I'm not vanilla or tofu and I LOVE being a mom. There have been times when I've felt like just part of the herd; go to college, be a teacher, get married, have a baby, stop working etc.. But guess what? I love it. It's hard but I love it. And I think I love it because I know it's what Heavenly Father wants for me.

So-to all you mothers out there-I know you get bored sometimes, get frustrated, feel left out of the working world, feel unappreciated, feel dowdy-but I saw you at Target yesterday and just because you've got a 2 year old and one on the way and Old Navy Jeans-I know you're not a lemming. I know you give your everything to those kids so they can grow strong and smart and feel loved. I know you once had hobbies and won awards or got scholarships and looked good in a swimsuit. I know you've got personality. Most of you.I guess it's taken me a lot of words to say that Just because everybody's doing it, it doesn't make it less special. I'm proud of you-and your stretch marks.

8 comments:

Emily said...

Kelli, you are amazing. Thanks for the beautiful thoughts. Even though I'm not lucky enough to be a mom yet, your words really touched me. Thanks for sharing.

Daniel said...

Thank you for that. It truly is amazing. I now have a little one of my own and I love him more than I ever thought I could. I am so excited to finally be a member of the (Parent) club.

Julie said...

That was a sweet post, Kelli! I'm excited to join the ranks and become a mom myself here, pretty soon :) You are a good blogger, and I always enjoy reading your posts.

Courtney said...

It was me! I was the one at Target with the 2 year old and Old Navy jeans! Kelli, your post seriously was exactly what I needed to hear--that other people are experiencing the same thing and its ok. Thats for telling it like it is. Love to you:)

Elizabeth Moon said...

Amen, Kelli. Amen.

Krista Hansen said...

I didn't know that I would need a tissue to read your blog today. Thanks a lot :) Must by my baby bump. But I have proof that I once looked good in a bathing suit. What a great post. It's easy to think that we aren't doing something great because we are "just" a mom. But we really are!

darcie said...

whoa whoa whoa. you live in orem?!

Unknown said...

I love being a Mom! It is the best job. I doesn't pay a huge salary, but it does pay with a huge amount of blessings, smiles and loves!