one year wiser

Happy birthday, sweetheart! We love you so much!

What I'm reading

I really liked this one...

Ug! So much for my resolution for more frequent posting. But guess what? I don't really care. There is no Quota. This is for me. And if I have something to say-I will find time to say it. I don't know who I'm talking back to right now... Forgive my rebellious attitude about my self imposed goal.

Anyway-it's almost summer and we have been swimming a couple of times. Starting next Monday I will be teaching swimming lessons in the morning. I hope all goes well. I like doing it and I like being in the sun. I just hope Felicity fares well with all of the baby sitting and late naps. Nursery in a couple of weeks. So. Excited.

Anyway-I just thought I'd let you all know what I'm reading. Most of you know I love to read. I read mostly junior fiction (it's easy to get through-entertaining-sometimes meaningful and it's what made me fall in love with reading) and board books. Know those ones by heart. Felicity and I hit up the library almost every week and although she never sits on my lap during lap time, we get new books and have fun.

So I got curious the other day and looked up a list of the Newberry award winners to see how many of them I have read. Then I remembered that my good friend's mom offered her kids some large amount of money to read all of the Newberry award winners ($500?). I don't know if any of her kids did it, but I decided I would. And no, I am not going to ask her for the money.

So that's what I have been reading. Newberry Award winners from 1922 to the present. Some of the really old ones are hard to get through and about dolls and stuff. I have to say, I like the newer ones. I was going to post a list of the ones I have read, but that is on the other computer, so you will just have to wait. If you want to read some Junior Fiction now-go read something by Jerry Spinelli, Richard Peck, Lois Lowry, Gary Paulsen or Blue Balliet. Those are some of my favorites. Happy Reading!

Thoughts on Motherhood

Funny faces

Felicity used to be puny (sp?)

I know this post is a week late, but I needed this time to really think about motherhood instead of cards, gifts, and yummy food. Don't get me wrong, Mother's Day was amazing. We got to spend time with both families and give and receive great words of appreciation. I had a great day. Kurt was more helpful than usual (which I thought was impossible-he always helps me a lot) and he didn't have extra meetings-yeah!

Yesterday I was getting my hair cut while pouring over US Weekly ( I know it's dumb-but that's what I love to do when I get my haircut-don't even try to talk to me girl-I love an hour of silence). But it wasn't silent, because the girl next to me was a talker, which was fine but I couldn't help overhearing their conversation. She recently had a baby and was telling her stylist about how she is from California and it's funny in Utah because you don't feel special when you are pregnant or having a baby-because literally EVERYBODY'S DOING IT. When you are in other states and people see your baby they are always going Lady Gaga over you and your bundle of joy. In Utah, nobody cares. When you walk into a store every other person you see either has kids with them or a baby bump, or both.

Even though I have had this same thought on more than one occasion and experienced it myself (taking a 5 month old to a Padres game-we have never had so much attention for being a cute little family) for some reason I sort of resented this girl saying it (probably because although I agreed with her, she was kind of annoying).

So-here's my rumination on that.

Just because everybody's doing it, it doesn't make it less special. Truly. I don't know that there a many things in life that this holds true for, but it's true about motherhood. Even if every friend of yours from high school, college or in your ward is having a baby, it doesn't make your experience any less special. And those that love you will feel the same way. It's amazing to me how sincerely excited I get when a friend, sister or acquaintance tells me they're pregnant. I get weepy. I CARE. Sincerely care-even if I don't know you that well. I want to talk with you about heartburn, otter pops, night sweats, pitting edema, colic, nursing shields and what books you have read. I want to tell you that having a newborn was probably the hardest 3 months of my life and it's ok if you feel like you're going crazy and then feel tremendous guilt about that. That's normal. I went off on a tangent here...

I guess what I am trying to say is that even though women have been doing it for hundreds and hundreds of years-it's still a miracle every time. Even though it's scientifically how our species procreates and survives-it's more than that. It will change you (obviously) and your life forever. No one can tell you how much of a sacrifice and a joy it will be. It is such a miracle that we are able to be parents on this earth. Whether it's by delivering a child ourselves, or by adoption or fostering or mentoring-it feels amazing to teach a child, to love a child.

I grew up in Provo and I now live in Orem and I have never felt like a lemming-or a boring Utah Mormon. Yes, my hair may have been bad in elementary school pictures (whose wasn't-it was the 80's), but I know that just because I may not be completely in style and maybe my hair is now a mom bob and maybe I am a country bumpkin to many -I like myself, and I like living here and I know I'm not vanilla or tofu and I LOVE being a mom. There have been times when I've felt like just part of the herd; go to college, be a teacher, get married, have a baby, stop working etc.. But guess what? I love it. It's hard but I love it. And I think I love it because I know it's what Heavenly Father wants for me.

So-to all you mothers out there-I know you get bored sometimes, get frustrated, feel left out of the working world, feel unappreciated, feel dowdy-but I saw you at Target yesterday and just because you've got a 2 year old and one on the way and Old Navy Jeans-I know you're not a lemming. I know you give your everything to those kids so they can grow strong and smart and feel loved. I know you once had hobbies and won awards or got scholarships and looked good in a swimsuit. I know you've got personality. Most of you.I guess it's taken me a lot of words to say that Just because everybody's doing it, it doesn't make it less special. I'm proud of you-and your stretch marks.

To be a loser...

I don't have very much time and there are a million things I could post about, but I just have to make a quick comment.

Biggest Loser Finale. Seriously. Amazing.

Kurt and I have been watching on and off for the past little while and we were rooting for Mike the teenager. I can't believe the top three contestants were in such close competition. It was a difference of 5 pounds or something. And for prize money of 250 thou. I would have been p.o'd if I lost by so little.

I just can't believe how much weight those people lost. I can't believe it's even possible! I know they're working out 12 hours a day and it's not reality, but still-I seriously can't believe it. Where does all of the skin go?

I also think that the pound for pound challenge is a great idea-that for all of the weight viewers lose they donate the same poundage of food to the food banks. I thought it was touching. Like Jack Sprat or something.

I just think it's an amazing thing. It's not just about being skinny. These people can now do things they never could, stop taking multiple medications, play with their kids and feel good about themselves. Eyes watered at my house (ok just mine)

I loved seeing all of the past contestants in their fancy clothes. They looked so amazing. Could you believe Jerry? The old dude who won the at home challenge and won 100 thousand dollars? And Nicole, wearing a size 8 wedding gown? You go girl. Amazing.

p.s.-I know where some of the skin goes...There were more flabby arms than a R.S general broadcast.

p.p.s Anyone else sick of these "big" shows being so drawn out. I don't want to watch a tv show for 2 or 3 hours. I can't believe they are just sticking one show in their whole prime time slot. Guess it's working though. I am a sucker and I know I will get sucked into the long drawn out Bachelorette episodes.. Yeah!

Doggies and Nap Time

So, Kurt and I have rented a few movies lately, one of which being Marley and Me. I actually liked it. It was a little slow, but there were some things I really liked.

#1-It was wholesome and clean as far as I remember.

#2-I liked seeing Jennifer Aniston in a "mommy" role. I don't really know what's going on with her in real life, but I think she's having a baby, am I right? I thought her acting was pretty good. Can't help liking her.

#3-Owen Wilson is kind of a cutie. Anything with him in it reminds me of my brother Brett who likes him a lot and has imitated him on more than one occasion.

#5-I liked that it painted a somewhat realistic picture of marriage and family-it's not easy-but it's worth it. I thought the movie was kind of ambivalent about where it wanted to go with that-if you watched it as a single adult, it could probably make you not want to get married, have children or a get a dog. But, since I'm a cheerleader for marriage and children-I took the message to be that people (and animals) aren't perfect, life is hard, but it's worth forging those relationships. There were some cheesy parts of course, but it wasn't all syrupy sweet.

Other thoughts:

*We never had a dog growing up and I have never had much of a desire to own one, so I don't really "get" the dog thing which is the whole basis of the movie. It was somewhat touching in that aspect-but I'm sure it would be more moving to anyone who has loved a four legged friend.

* I liked when Owen Wilson said something to the effect of, "I had a fight with my wife-you mend it, you don't end it." Loved that message.

* I thought the argument between the parents was very realistic and easy to identify with. New baby-stressed out parents-mom is a little cuckoo-dad's not sure if he wants to come in the house. Dog is making everything 10x harder. He accuses her of being depressed, she says she isn't depressed, just overwhelmed. She calls him a jerk. I'm sorry-but how many new moms and dad's haven't been there. Am I right?

*Which brings me to my last point. For those of you who have seen it-do you remember when Marley gets excited about the garbage truck or something and wakes up the kids who have just been napping? OOoh-that part makes me mad! Honestly makes me not want to have a dog. I never thought I would be so dang uptight about napping or sleep schedules, but I am. Once you have a kid-sleep is like air, like water, like heat-it is so so essential for everyone in the home to get some, but so hard to grasp onto. You need enough. At the right time. Or life can be horrible, right? I guess I'm going off because today is one of those bad napping days.

-So, Felicity is finally taking a nap and the little dog that lives below us started barking. And he wouldn't stop! Anger- like fire began rising in my chest! I've never been mad at that dog before, which is funny, because Kurt is always mad when he barks, even if it's only for a second. But, when you've had a bad napping day and baby girl finally stops making noises in her crib and you aren't even going to run the dryer or make a phone call or use the microwave because she might wake up, and a little doggy starts barking-momma wants to rip his head off. So that is what urged me to write this post. It reminded me of the movie. Good news-Felicity didn't wake up and the doggie's daddy pulled him inside and made him stop barking at our older neighbor who is sweet, but takes a looong time to walk to her car.